Facebook Posts
For those of us who feel perpetually hassled...this is one of the best self-help pieces I've come across. Read the whole thing.
**
Saying yes to a request feels good in the moment. So we say yes to things we know won’t move us forward. We say yes because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. We say yes to be polite. We say yes out of obligation. We say yes because we ‘should.’
Confusing movement with results gets us into trouble. When dealing with anyone other than friends or family, saying yes should ultimately lead to results.
Saying yes carries a cost that is often paid in the days, weeks, or even years ahead.
What starts as a single meeting becomes a weekly one. A small project becomes a large one. A one-time event with colleagues turns into a weekly session.
The difference between average results and exceptional ones is what you avoid.
Be quick to say no and slow to say yes. Saying yes consumes time, saying no creates time...
The bar for yes should be high and continuously get higher. When you’re first starting you might say yes to everything to get experience. Later, however, you’ll need to be more selective. Most people end up saying yes to mediocre opportunities...
Saying no is like saving your money in the bank, whereas saying yes is spending it. Most of us are on overdraft.
**
fs.blog
To realize your potential you have to focus on the things that matter. You have to say no to good opportunities so you can pursue great ones.1 day ago
I think this might be more applicable to career than to personal life. When I married and moved to a place where I knew no one, my mother-in-law, who had been uprooted multiple times, advised me to say yes to everything, for in almost every setting I would meet someone who would become a friend. When her husband died 10 years later, she told us she was going to accept every invitation that came along because “if you keep saying no, people will quit asking.” Of course I have said no on occasion, but for 60 years my mantra has been, “don’t say no when you can say yes,” and in almost 14 years of widowhood, that has proved wise many times over. At 81 my life is full and I am grateful.
A second thought… saying no to some things has also unlocked more joy in the holidays. Parties and gatherings are nice, but between at least two families, the work places, and multiple friends groups, for a few years the holidays had no time for us to enjoy ourselves as a family, or have some much-needed down time. I remember this when I organize things— I take no gracefully and not personally, and accept no for an answer. Chances are the other party might love to attend (or not!) but they have too many things building up. The other half of this OP message is to accept no from others, gracefully.
Absolutely. As I’ve gotten older I’ve given myself permission to specialize. My “to don’t” list is just as or more important than my “to do” list.
I went through a period of teaching my boys that while grammatically the word "no" is used as a negative. Ironically, in mathematical terms, zero is non-negative. When someone asks us for something and we can't give or do it, we aren't being negative, we are just being zero. We are choosing to not sacrifice ourselves to a negative degree. Same applies if we receive a "no" answer. It's not a let down, or a put down.
Brilliant! And I think this is VERY applicable to homeschool life. I’ve had to consciously start saying no to classes and groups and activities, not because they aren’t valuable—they ARE, which is why it’s so tempting to say yes. But I’m starting to ask myself if the value of doing something is as great as the value of NOT doing it.
Let me say first that those of you saying we need to say yes to family probably don't have toxic family. Those of us that do, know that saying no to them is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your kids. I recently, within the past few years, learned to say no. I turn down invites to events to recharge, or focus on my family. I DNF books that I don't like. I don't use curricula that does not fit well with us, regardless of it's popularity. I've said no to friends and family that have hurt me, or just plain bad to be around. It has made a world of difference in my mental and physical health. It's made me a better mother. It's made homeschooling easier.
This advice applies to homeschooling as well! I watch so many parents get run ragged, along with their kids. I often advise that when you seek quality, more stuff, more activities, more curriculum often aren’t more.
I feel like this relates to volunteering for my children’s school. Although I receive no benefit, other than possibly getting to see my child every once in awhile. I feel most people don’t volunteer bc they don’t receive a benefit of some sort, however if they did, they would volunteer more. In Elementary school I saw more benefit, middle school, a little, but high school, not so much. That does not mean there is no benefit for others elsewhere. Sad but true!
If I'm not mistaken, the medievals identified the vice of "acedia" or "business" as part of the capital vice of sloth. In other words, as we all know, procrastination and saying yes to other, noble things is really also a form of avoiding that which we and only we can do. I know this is personally true for me that I can pile it on with my to-do list and yet, never get to things only I can (and need to) do. And then I feel crappy all around.
It’s me 🙋🏼♀️ I needed to hear this! Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
That is right on time- thank you for sharing.
Interesting and motivating.
Farnam street is a great blog
Yep, that last paragraph is the clincher.
Wish I had this problem!
A friend of mine passed this on to me, and I thought some of you might appreciate it. If you click on the "register" link in the story, it takes you to a listing of all the places that are hosting these events this coming weekend.
Sensory-Friendly Santa Coming To Hundreds Of Locations Nationwide
www.disabilityscoop.com
As the holiday season gets underway, hundreds of malls will offer individuals with disabilities a special opportunity to meet with Santa Claus without the hubbub that such visits often entail.1 week ago
Save on homeschooling essentials!
40% off all pdf and mp3 downloads, including the bestselling history series "The Story of the World" by Susan Wise Bauer, easy-to-use Math materials by Kate Snow of Kate's Homeschool Math Help, classic stories performed by Jim Weiss of Jim Weiss (Official), how-to-homeschool talks, and more. Visit welltrainedmind.com/store
1 week ago
I recently heard that a classical education does NOT mean or teach that there are stages of development. That Douglas Wilson created that teaching and promoted it for private schools. That it is not accurate for classical model. Is this true? I’d appreciate your thoughts.
