It boils down to money. Large amounts of campus budgets come from international student tuitionZ without that tuition, the schools need more students in campus. It’s the administrations way of forcing the hand of colleges to open up fully.

We know how massively in need universities are in need of their inflated tuition...professors and administrators will be out on the streets begging for food.

I don’t think people realize how many international students are paying $$$ full tuition to these institutions and the money they spend on the local economies surrounding these campuses. Just the economic effect on college towns alone will be huge.

I don't know of a single nation that does not take back their citizens.

Thankfully these universities are taking strong action as well: www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/07/08/888871130/harvard-mit-sue-immigration-of...

I work at UC Berkeley... You can imagine just how fast I signed this petition.

Signed! And I shared the post and copied your message. It is truly a matter of compassion.

Why do they have to remain in the country if the instruction is online? You can’t have it both ways!

Could the schools get around this by offering a one credit hour on-campus class for international students?

I so appreciate your posts. Especially lately. ❤️

Thanks for sharing this. I was horrified by the news when I heard it.

Done! Thanks for sharing this.

Signed!

Done!

Didn't most go home?

Done.

Done

Done.

Don't feel like you need a bunch of curriculum for young children. Get some essentials (reading, writing, and math) and follow interests for science and history. Many booklists should be viewed as a smorgasbord to pick from, not a checklist to power through.

Andrea Padron Johnson - love Susan's posts. This one made me think of you

I posted this on my business page, but it’s the entirety of what I would add. There are so many questions right now about curriculum - choosing and buying curriculum. I just want to offer some perspective as a 12th-year homschooler with 6 kids who is also a bit of a curriculum junkie. 😉 The curriculum itself is the least important part of your homeschool. It's the least important part of your decision to homeschool. It's like deciding to get married and spending all of your time thinking about what the wedding will be like without planning your life together. It's easy to control, you can solve it with money, it's not so scary, and who doesn't like to shop? The best way to prepare to homeschool is to think about what your goals are for your family. How do you want your life to look? What are your priorities? How are your relationships? What are your kids' goals? What are they interested in? How do they like to learn? If you're transferring from years of institutional learning, have they even had a chance to think about all those things? Do any of you really know the answers to those questions? Most of what you buy in preparation for your first year, you will ditch. I say this out of personal experiences and from watching it first hand with all of the families I've worked with over the years. Follow their delight FIRST. Capitalize on their enthusiasm FIRST. Stay in touch with whatever it was that led you to this decision, and you won't go wrong. They'll learn to read and write and spell along the way, and you'll have some missteps and waste some money but that all probably would have happened in public school too. C'est la vie. Yes, here in Virginia you have to tell the county what 'curriculum' you plan to implement on your LOI - but what they really mean is scope and sequence. Tell them you plan to teach math and science and English and social studies and PE at a level that's commensurate with age and ability. Done. They don't need to see your Rainbow Resource receipt. I always tell parents to start formal lessons in the January after their kids' last day of school. Spend 7 solid months enjoying each other and figuring out how to coexist in this space together before you complicate things. Don't do a trial run in the summer - it won't be representative. There's no hurry (except in some cases for high schoolers). Relax. Enjoy your kids. Take a deep breath. You already know these people. 🙂

I'd add live, regular help for families who are new to homeschooling. They have so many questions and concerns and I love helping them feel at ease about this endeavor! I do these every week and have curious and eager families joining every time. 😍 Susan, I'm a big fan and am so grateful for your encouraging books. I met you at a CA book signing recently, and always recommend your Rethinking School book to all new homeschool families! 😍🤩 facebook.com/events/s/educational-support-for-famili/3179705148730702/?ti=cl

I bought my son a book about famous mistakes .

Loftan, I found this helpful. I thought you might too.

My oldest (now 20) was/is very high achieving with an almost a photographic memory. Since he was so very rarely wrong about anything related to academics, it was very startling and upsetting to him when he was. In addition to modeling how to deal with mistakes - much easier for me since I make a lot of them 😉 - I also intentionally introduced him to situations that were not his strengths where he would almost certainly struggle and make mistakes. It might sound like awful parenting, but (with support) it was so good for him to experience and work through. He still tells me he "bombed" an exam when he gets a low A 🙄 but he can laugh about it now, which is healthy.

Like anything else, you have to model anti-perfectionism. You have to mess things up and let it be fine instead of thinking aloud about how next time you’ll optimize. You have to edit your own narrative about how you view other people and situations. Are you modeling being hyper-critical? Are you modeling the joy and terror of being an absolute beginner at things? Kids learn three ways: modeling, modeling, and modeling.

Sarah Spitaleri

Be aware of OCD symptoms as well. It’s a serious mental illness and difficult to diagnose. Saying things like “oh he’s just a perfectionist” is a great way to ignore and mask symptoms.

My oldest is dyslexic and autistic. He was a late reader but had been copying original stories that we spelled out for him for years. Spelling made no sense to him, and as we transitioned away from us spelling out every word, the stress of potentially getting it wrong was meltdown inducing. We normalized using spelling tools, encouraged him that we'd help him correct misspelling, but it was a tough six months. Now, eighteen months out, he's thankfully pretty nonchalant about spelling connections.

I haven’t figured it out in regards to myself yet, much less how I will handle it when I have kids. Of course watch them be completely different (much like my parents never could figure out where all my perfectionism came from because they aren’t like that at all, and have never put pressure on me in those ways.)

Thank you for this timely post. My perfectionist kid asked me just an hour ago how she can help herself get over this need to be perfect. We’ve been working on it for years. Toss any resources you’ve got at me.

I had to learn that allowing my sons to fail (literally academically, but also socially) was good for them. They learned that life does go on. It was excruciating for me not to “rescue” them at first, but it was the best decision. I wish I had let them fail from an earlier age. I also learned the phrase, “I believe you’re capable.” I use it when they don’t think they are capable and also when they do. It took some getting used to because it seems less encouraging than, “I believe in you,” or, “You can do it!” But it also delivers a statement of fact without added pressure. My sons have responded beautifully to it.: Confidence without added anxiety about what they think will make me happy.

I highly recommend the book "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown. As a homeschool alum and recovering perfectionist, this book truly changed my life!!!

My eldest son, now working on his MFA in painting, was such a perfectionist about his drawings as a child that he would destroy anything that didn’t meet his internal standards. And nothing met his standards which made putting a homeschooling portfolio together for the district superintendent very challenging. 😟

Wendy Lakehurst, FYI

I switched things up a bit to build up her confidence. With great care and thought, I chose curriculum that could play up her strengths while working on weaknesses. I used Montessori for math because it set her up with the answers. She couldn't "fail" at math. I added arts, crafts and baking where she could safely struggle, fail and try again. We watched shows where experienced bakers and blacksmiths fail. I would make mistakes in front of her and point out that everyone makes mistakes. I would joke that FAIL meant First Attempt At Learning.

Yes, and the strong willed ones. I have a strong willed perfectionist who also has multiple learning challenges (which prevent perfection often!)

We’ve loved The Big Life Podcast for kids, for learning Growth Mindset. It’s a game-changer!! We also have the Big Life Journal and the Big Life Podcast Workbook that goes with each episode. It’s really helped ME as a parent.

I'm absolutely biased, but I believe learning to play a musical instrument is one of the best therapies for this. Practicing forces us to look right at the envelope between "known" and "unknown" daily. Accomplishing mastery belongs to the performer alone, and perfection is not as rewarding a goal as expression. There is no way to practice without finding the imperfection and rooting it out, but it must be done in such small steps that it's teaching the learner to teach themselves every day. That kind of humbling/rewarding feedback loop is almost magic for perfectionist personalities.

This probably sounds mean, but I would tell my oldest (who was also a competitive D1 gymnast) when she was younger: "No one is above making mistakes and if you're not making any mistakes in your school work, I'm wasting your time with assignments that are too easy. If you never mess up anything in gymnastics, your coaches are wasting your time with routines that are too easy." On a couple occasions, she cried over one wrong on a spelling test or something (in 2nd grade or so) and I did not express pity. I said something more like, "I'm sorry you feel bad right now, but everyone goes through this and you are stronger than to get upset over something this unimportant." Not sure that would work for every kid, but it seemed to really work for her, in that she stopped getting upset over mistakes and wasn't afraid to take on challenges. Her perfectionism was likely never that severe in the first place, but I was very grateful we appeared to nip it in the bud.

Try being a perfectionist parent teaching a perfectionist child 🙈

This was/is our biggest homeschool hurdle. It has definitely gotten better with time, and many tearful conversations.

I feel so responsible, because that is definitely a trait I struggle with still in my 40s.

I've found that "trying" is another thing they don't like being bad at.

Hard won wisdom for me was understanding that just being there to listen until the child hears themselves is most helpful.

This is really hard. One thing that helped a lot was to sort of elevate imperfection as a path to greatness via learning and/or experimentation. For instance, kid aged 6 cannot get the smile right on a picture of someone. It is impossible to understand why she is SO frustrated. So, say, hey, guess what, what real artists do is they use what they have someone even if it's not what they intended. So you have a different smile than you wanted; is there a way to make it still look really great? That's a very creative thing to do. Or, hey, let's make a whole bunch of smiles, all different kinds, on another piece of paper to see which one you like the best. That's what real artists do; they are called 'studies'. Or kid aged 8 can't believe they got 3 answers wrong on their math paper. So say, hey, let's figure out the sneaky way the math book tricked you into these answers, so you won't be tricked again. That's what real math people do--they study their mistakes as hard as their perfect stuff, so that they get better and better at what they do. Or, let's start to quickly check each answer before turning the paper in. That's what real math people do--in fact, they check things over and over to make sure that they are right.

Teaching my perfectionist kids about the engineering process and how failure is just a step in the iteration process was a huge help. theworks.org/educators-and-groups/elementary-engineering-resources/engineering-design-process/