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When my children were little, I was conditioned to believe that a tantrum was the end of the world.
That's why I love this piece. Because of these words: "Toddlers' lives are filled with disappointment." Entering into a toddler's world and truly understanding the powerlessness of it: that's so hard to do when you're an exhausted young parent.
And so important.
"...while a toddler’s brain is still building the areas that will let them control their feelings, their sense of self is also emerging. At age two, they know they are their own person. That realization is bringing big new emotions, like pride in accomplishments and a growing desire to do things for themselves.
"When those things are unsafe or impossible—or would make a trip to the grocery store take 37 hours—the toddler will probably be disappointed. 'I think it’s important just to recognize that toddlers’ lives are filled with frustrating experiences,' Gleason says. And when those frequent disappointments happen, the underequipped toddler brain is unable to handle the big feelings.
"...[M]anage your expectations. 'In parenting, our expectations shape the way we respond,' Parlakian says. In a 2016 survey, Zero to Three found that nearly a quarter of parents thought children could avoid having a tantrum, or otherwise control their emotions, by age one; in reality, these self-regulation skills develop between three-and-a-half and four years. 'We respond more compassionately if we recognize that this is a limitation not of character, but of development,' Parlakian says."
forge.medium.com/the-scientific-cause-of-sudden-toddler-meltdowns-269ab920335b
The Scientific Cause of Sudden Toddler Meltdowns
forge.medium.com
Most parents think kids can control their emotions long before their brains are equipped to do so18 hours ago
“We respond more compassionately if we recognize that this is a limitation not of character, but of development.” This. I’ve been finding more compassion for parents of toddlers experiencing tantrums in the moment too, with my own experience. I go inwardly ... 🙈 “remember when you went to Target just before dinner that time? Yeah, that did not go well. And it was your own choice, Erin... Hungry tired children have a hard time self regulating. Even hungry and tired adults have trouble!”
I have 5 kids ranging 22 yo to 2 yo. I have learned just giving them what they want doesn't encourage the formation of their understanding of reality. She (2yo) does have the tantrums mostly trying to do what her 2 older brothers closest in age to her are doing and not being able to. When I remind her what she is able to do she usually calms down and does that. If not, I show her the activity and she involves herself the best way she can with some encouragement.
Things like this really want me to have a do-over! My youngest is now 5, but this is something that is important to keep in mind with any stage.
Yes!!!!!
I'm really feeling this one...
www.nytimes.com/2020/02/08/us/corona-virus-travel.html
How Not to Get Sick While Traveling
www.nytimes.com
Should you wear a mask? Does airplane travel pose a greater risk? Do hand sanitizers work? Health professionals offer some tips.1 week ago
I wish I could read the article. What are the recommendations? We use wet ones, hand sanitizer, we eat at smaller restaurants or eat on the plane, and use the hand sanitizer copiously, as well as not touching door knobs. ....and never sit near sick people if possible.
We love driving, taking our own food, and pulling our small trailer or taking a tent to travel! ❤️ Slow but more fun! Just tough to get across the ocean our way of traveling! 😂 My husband has looked into traveling via freight ship. 😁
All good advice... Thank you for posting this!! 👏👏👏
Going through atl airport soon. Yuck!
These words are true.
"I want to share a lesson, courtesy of this brouhaha. It’s for fellow writers, artists, or really anyone who is emotionally attached to their work. That lesson is this: After you release your work — a book, a documentary, a Tweet, a presentation you post on LinkedIn — it no longer belongs to you. It belongs to the consumer...Replying to reviews and criticism is pretty much always a bad idea.
"...Remember that you have done the work, and now it’s out of your hands. When you finally understand this, when you see your art as a gift to the world that no longer belongs to you, you’re free to create the next thing."
REPLYING TO REVIEWS AND CRITICISM IS PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS A BAD IDEA. Every writer should stick that on a Post-It on her computer. Write it in soap on her bathroom mirror. Tattoo it on her forehead.
Whenever I've responded to a reviewer--except to correct a misstatement of fact--I've regretted it. And to be honest, I've usually regretted it when I've corrected misstatements as well.
The work has to stand on its own. And this author is so right: instead of spending your time defending what you've already done, you can move on to the next project.
forge.medium.com/what-every-artist-can-learn-from-the-latest-scandal-in-young-adult-literature-12...
What Every Artist Can Learn From the Latest Scandal in Young Adult Literature
forge.medium.com
If the Sarah Dessen Twitter debacle has taught us anything, it’s that reviews are not for you1 week ago
One caveat: Your book will always belong to you. Opinions about your book, however, do not. Art is subjective. As Elsa would say, let it go. Then move forward.
This is such a challenge, especially when you think that either someone has misunderstood your work or when you see that someone has misconceptions about something else that they cannot be dissuaded from. I have this framed and hanging near my computer. imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png
The only thing one can do is smile, no matter how grimly. TBH other people’s negative reactions to ones work says more about them than the work.
I read this a few days ago and was just reminded of it when my husband showed me a comment thread on Goodreads. One of his GR friends was reviewing his way through a large historical work and the book's writer responded to the review in an aggressive and rude manner and I thought, "This is exactly what Susan Wise Bauer warned about."
Interesting. Rachel Harris, have you seen this article? Curious about your thoughts as I can imagine this is much easier said than done...
My 12 year old daughter and I just used this whole situation as an opportunity to identify logical fallacies, which unfortunately tend to dominate our newsfeeds today and creates this popular “cancel culture.”
So much ... yes ❤️
It's like the ripples in a pond.
"Replying to..." is a good advice even for people like me who does not produce any "work".
